“We Got This!” – How to support your teenager receiving Leaving Certificate results

A typical mistake we make with anxious people is to try to play down their anxiety. This is done with the best intentions, but often the reassurance of ‘it’s going be grand’ is not effective. It is a big deal to the worrying person and this needs to be acknowledged.

Instead, expand on the supports the young person has in place and emphasise how you will be there for them, no matter what, to find a solution. This can be done by stating that you don’t share their worry because you believe in them, but, if the results are not what is expected or hoped for, you will be there for them to find another alternative.

Often, we applaud the idea of having specific and focused goals. However, these goals need to have some flexibility built into them in order to overcome challenges. It is important to have a Plan B or a series of options should the perfect ideal not materialise.

Therefore, it may be no harm to redirect the young person to the notion that there is a plethora of responses available to them which can be accessed dependent on the results and the subsequent college offer. Once again, emphasise your unwavering supportive role as parent.

In the lead-up to an anxious event, the anxious and catastrophic voices in our heads tend to dominate and be loudest. This can encourage panic and rumination.

If you see a young person who is engaging in this dynamic, encourage them to invite perspective and context into the conversation. These voices are often drowned out at these times and need support to increase their volume and influence.

Try to help your young person to access these thoughts and support what they have to say. This will create balance and fend against sensationalised thought processes.

I always suggest that you approach parenting like you would approach supporting your child on a rollercoaster: you don’t repeatedly say "it’s going be grand" because rollercoaster rides, by their very nature, have twists and turns that are scary and unpredictable. Therefore, making this promise will not materialise and you will have lost the young person’s trust in you.

Instead, say, "I do not know what is up ahead; it might be challenging. But what I do know is that I am here with you and I will hold on tight to you the whole way around, and we will manage whatever is up ahead together".